AND YOU KEEP ME IN YOU

 

As if it were a secret that you still love me, you want me, you dream of me, you deceive yourself, you lie, you rationalize and you lead me to the exponent of madness, by the acquiescence of accepting that the power of others overcomes you, conquers you, kills me, in your incoherence of dreaming me. Dream me, but hide me as I do with you, keep me in the chorus of your next song, in your hidden music, from your obtuse, gray, excusable, violent reality, take me to dreams, where only there you find me, but don't call out to me when you sleep with the other. Make me a small violet hole where you can keep me without them realizing that you still dream of me, that you still want me, that you still love me, and sing me softly, you who don't like to listen to you, sing me in chorus, in the apotheotic chords of the past, of illusion, of your lack of command over the heart, weigh me in the bowels of all your passions,  Whisper to them the love you have for me, that you love me, tell them that you adore them, but you do so by looking into their eyes those of mine who love you. Keep me in silence, ruminate on me in your patience, shut me up in sleepless nights, and never, never, never abandon yourself to that love with which you fight. That is an inglorious struggle, of your mind against your heart, of the reason for the emotion with which you remember me, of their spells that no longer work, of the darkness of others, of the violence of others, from the insults of others, work, work, slave, work, forget me, shut me up, mute me, so that later, alone, you will exhale me, like wine, nectar of the gods, appropriate the devices with which dreams and nightmares are exterminated, kill me today, kill me always, kill me again, in the lie of your mouth, in the depths of your eyes full of love with which you see me and look at me in the old photo you keep,  In the sweet memories that don't let go of you, From how much you have dreamed of me in these years, in the amount of dreams that populate you, where I have always been and always will be, until you are dust and nothing on earth that keeps you whole in this slavery of forgetting me today for tomorrow no. Keep me in the music of your heart, hide me from enemies and your perennial illusions, make me a scapegoat for your failures of not knowing, as I do, how to forget me. Forget me between the cold nights and the dawns, the clear dawns and the truncated tomorrows of a future where you want to extinguish me. Write me off if you can, but keep me always. I will be yours forever, I will be yours here and in the next life, I will be yours as I have always been. Keep me a woman among women. And shut me up. I shut up.