Idir & Al Qabri Ramos

 Commitment to God

(The Thousand Names of Love)

I revisit childhood, where, 

for reasons of grief 

and helplessness,

I've lost my anchor 

The Grounding Chant

I knew I was an artist, 

My father had told me

idealistic, generous, 

dedicated and free, 

but above all, i

knew what THE MISSION was

The greatest of all, 

through love, to bring hope, 

to the dark alleys of war, 

the cure of health and hunger 

of all kinds 

to the most remote places 

the three decades.

To teach to read those 

who wanted to learn, 

children and the elderly.

By the time I was 6 years old, 

I was already a teacher

And i was already teaching 

younger children to read. 

Interpreting poetry, advising

readings and injecting sensitivity.

I did theater and soap operas, 

Danced with the stars

I wrote and added

Distant plans on paper.

God knows why he made me.

Something much bigger than me.

For militancy and purpose.

I remember that 

in front of the television, 

I was religiously waiting 

for the program 

of the missions in Africa.

I forced me to watch 

the Sunday Eucharist, 

Engineer Veloso's Rural TV 

so that I could finally 

take a look at the 

missionaries and Caritas.

the Red Cross and the Asylums,

The boys with the bright eyes

and curious, where there was 

no despondency, but hunger, 

and there were no beautiful clothes

 or shoes of varnish, but a floor of dirt,

and curiosity, 

thirst for knowledge

And I aspired to grow up 

to be one of the ladies 

dressed in white 

who would heal 

the wounds of misery 

and the weeping of the war 

orphans, the mutilated 

and my friends on the street,

Not seeing me go out to play, 

They came to knock on me 

at the living room window, 

call me boring, 

they didn't understand my 

internal motivations; 

and they didn't

because to do, 

they were just children.

I wasn't anymore. 

And when they asked me

- And when you grow up, 

what are you going to do?

I told them I was going to write 

Children's tales, such as 

I was already writing to them. 

And in the question of adulthood,

getting married, having children, 

telling them that maybe 

i would have a boyfriend, 

would live in a wooden house 

by a river or lake and no children. 

My children were from a world

distant, calved and germinated

in other wombs, fatherless boys

Like me, motherless, like me,

who already knew that 

i was an orphan of a living mother

and absent. And no family.

The acceptance of all of this,

Understanding in advance

He came to visit me many times

And I was more than prepared.

It didn't happen. 

Instead, love happened

And after the love for two, another

bigger, and we become three.

I've never forgotten it 

I haven't complied yet

my destiny.

And I won't be able to 

postpone it any longer.

It's got to be in this life,

That vocation and gifts

it was God that God made us God 

for the purpose of the Whole

And I tell you, even when 

I'm sorry I didn't forget

That I know I'm going to fulfill

no more detours,

to which I have committed myself.

I visit my childhood often

Also because I miss it there

of my father Francisco and the joy

That I don't feel in life anymore

but that I have to offer.

When we have the inner source

invisible and marked

 

to Heaven, like me,

the connecting thread 

is not exhausted, that of Ariadne,

 

we never give up dreaming,

which is, after all,

 the necessary yeast to materialize.

And love doesn't exhaust,

neither does the will 

to change society.

From being many to not accepting 

The Conformation 

of Lies and Illusions 

and to bring justice and truth.

That's all I came here to do

And I got so lost.

And I hear God whispering in my ear

- Dear daughter, you needed to learn

that in order to be you,

 

you could not please others, 

but the light that you carry within you,

 

precious that light that can 

illuminate the world,

the light of your generosity.

And I've had this commitment 

to God since I was a child, 

something with a lot of responsibility

- No more procrastinating,

to suffer and to postpone

 

what I set out to accomplish.